By: Starielle Hope
If you read my earlier post, “Sensuality vs. Sexuality, What’s the Difference?” you already know that sensuality doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with sex. Sensuality does have everything to do with pleasure, specifically finding ways to experience as much pleasure as possible with each of our five senses.
While tapping into the pleasure potential of our five senses is an incredible enhancement to just about anything we do on a daily basis, bringing sensuality into our sexual expression can be its own rich and powerful journey.
I’m going to run through ideas for each of the five senses here, but if this feels overwhelming or intimidating at all I highly recommend starting by bringing in a new activation for just one of the senses first, whatever jumps out at you, and seeing how you like it. You can always gradually add on more senses as you feel more comfortable.
It would definitely require some pretty insanely advanced energetic skills to have sex without touch, so this one may seem obvious. But are there ways you could incorporate touch into your lovemaking that you’ve never tried before? My two favorite ways to find new sensations with touch are:
- Use an object that provides a new sensation
- Use the same object but with a different energy or cadence
If you are generally more of a gentle lover, how would it feel to mix in some more intensity and play with rougher touch (with your partner’s consent, of course). If you generally play rough, is there room to mix in a softer, lighter touch? I personally find the most pleasure and excitement through an experience that incorporates both elements, I love the contrast!
The right music can play a huge role in setting a beautifully sensual scene. Which music is right? This really depends on your taste but I recommend music that feels sexy to you. You also want to make sure that the music is supporting your environment, not dominating it. Music with lyrics can be distracting, as can music with too much intensity (I don’t personally recommend dance or rock music, for example). If you can find some tracks that are soft and sexy and keep the music at a volume that you can hear but doesn’t take over, you’re on the right track! Play with this and see what feels best for you and your partner.
Play with the lighting to set the perfect mood. How does your lover’s body look lit by candlelight? Or by a soft colored bulb? Candles (either the real flame kind or LED) are always a great idea in my experience. A warm orange or magenta light can be fun to play with as well.
If you are going the real flame candle route, finding scented candles that have a sexy scent are fantastic to add another level of sense activation. An essential oil diffuser is also a fantastic option! I recommend delicious scents floral or spicey scents such as:
- Ylang Ylang
Taste is one of the senses that is most likely to be overlooked in the bedroom. I challenge you to get creative here and think about foods that you could feed your love in bed to delight his or her tongue. I personally prefer lighter foods that aren’t likely to create a mess, like bite sized pieces of dark chocolate or fresh fruit. Ideally anything you serve up would be in bite sized pieces for easy enjoyment. One of the most incredible surprises my partner ever created for me in bed was when he asked me to close my eyes. He then fed me a piece of the most deliciously sweet nectarine I have ever tasted and then immediately started going down on me. I honestly can’t put this experience into words, you just have to try it!
Photo by Justin Rosenberg