By: Starielle Hope
In a culture where we prioritize “efficiency” and “achievement” over “pleasure” and “enjoying the journey,” sensuality can feel foreign and awkward.
Curious to learn more about what sensuality is and how it’s different from sexuality? Check out my previous post, “Sensuality vs. Sexuality, What’s the Difference?”
For many of us, our sensuality is a muscle that has atrophied from misuse. Strengthening your sensuality is simply a matter of bringing more of it into your life on a daily basis.
One of the most powerful ways to do this is to design a daily ritual. I personally find that keeping the ritual under 15 minutes, and making sure I do the ritual at the same time each day (I like first thing in the morning or right before bed) help me to stick to my new routine.
When designing a sensuality ritual, there are two crucial components:
A morning sensuality ritual could be as simple as creating space for you to do something you already do now, but in a more present and pleasurable way.
Do you find yourself rushing out the door in the morning with your coffee in a travel mug?
What if you were to wake up 15 minutes earlier so you had time to drink your fresh hot coffee in a cozy spot on your couch, allowing yourself to savor every sip, and enjoy the pleasure of stillness?
A sensuality ritual can be this simple.
Feeling more ambitious? What could it look like to expand that simple morning coffee ritual into an experience that activates all five senses?
Pleasurable touch is some of the juiciest nourishment for our human souls. Yet many of us rely on others to provide this experience for us, depriving ourselves of this connection with our own bodies.
How could you touch yourself, or touch something around you, that would feel delicious? This could be lying naked on a sheepskin rug, dressing in the softest silk, or even just stepping outside to feel a cool breeze tickle our skin.
Remember our two rules? Activate one of our five senses with full presence. When designing your ritual get creative here! How would it feel to take a bath and then massage a light, natural oil like coconut into your whole body?
If I were to add touch to our coffee ritual above, I would take all of my clothes off and wrap myself is this super soft, silky blanket I have and relish in the deliciousness of the blanket on my skin as I sipped my coffee.
There are such a wide range of possible sounds that can be pleasurable to different people, from rock music, to classical piano, or the natural sounds of birds chirping and the gentle sounds of a running creek.
One way to bring the sense of hearing into my coffee ritual might be to play some soft music while I took those 15 minutes for myself.
Taking the time to smell scents in the air, or deliberately adding pleasurable scents through scented candles or essential oils is a fantastic way to incorporate the sense of smell into your sensuality ritual.
Slowing down and exploring the experience of a food item through smell before tasting adds a whole other dimension to eating and drinking. If I were to take a few deep breaths of that delicious fresh coffee smell before I started to drink it, that would be a perfect way to bring the sense of smell into my coffee ritual.
The amount of satisfaction one gets from eating food quickly while distracted is a stark contrast to the experience of eating something delicious slowly, savoring small bites this obviously. How might we change our relationship to food by eating more sensually at every meal?
And what about bringing sensual taste into experiences that don’t normally include food? What would it be like to savor the taste of your lovers lips as you kiss them the same way you might savor the most delicate and rich of desserts?
When was the last time you gazed at something (or someone) with full presence and a desire to soak up and admire every detail, every curve, every note of color? So often we are simply looking around, logging what we see as information, and rushing onto the next thing.
To bring the sense of sight into my coffee ritual, I could gaze at a favorite piece of art, or watch the sunrise while I drank my coffee.
Activating All Five Senses
In summary, if I wanted to design a morning sensuality ritual that would include all five senses in fifteen minutes or less around my experience of drinking coffee I would:
- Get naked and snuggle into a soft, silky blanket
- Turn on some soft, sexy morning music
- Take three deep breaths of the aromatic steam coming off my coffee cup
- Drink my coffee slowly, tasting each hot sip fully and enjoying the flavor and heat on my tongue
- Watch the sunrise out my window, noting as the colors shifted and swirled around each other, creating streaks of pink and orange creeping, flaring, and then receding from the sky into full morning light.
Feeling ready to design your own sensuality ritual? We can't wait to hear all about yours!
Photo by Inna Shnayder