With Halloween in the air, we often feel inspired to experiment with role-play and alter-egos. There is something inherently sexy about this time of year. Dressing up for Halloween is an opportunity to wear something daring, revealing or experimental, be someone else for a night and explore your darker desires.
We may think that the whole “sexy Halloween” phenomenon is recent, created by the over-sexualization of our Western culture. However Halloween has its sexy roots from the early 19th Century when certain parades and holidays including Halloween were an opportunity for young men and women, who were normally kept separate, to meet and interact.
As for sexy costumes, those too date back to 18th and 19th Century where it was widely accepted for people to dress in revealing costumes at masquerade and artists’ balls.
Why do we enjoy dressing up so much? Costumes are a way to deviate from your usual role. “Any time you’re allowed to wear a costume, you’re also allowed to engage in activities outside your normal behavior,” says Nancy Deihl, director of costume studies at NYU Steindhardt. That means you may feel emboldened to share a secret sexual desire with your partner that you haven’t shared before. You may also feel more confident outwardly expressing your inner sensuality in a way that you’ve been shy about in the past. Costumes give you a buffer to ask for what you want, without feeling completely exposed. Use this day as an excuse to explore parts of yourself you normally keep under wraps.
Express your desires this Halloween. If you’re staying in, take it as an opportunity to play out you or your lover’s fantasies. Asking your partner for their role-play fantasy might be uncomfortable as some people are shy asking for what they want, so start by asking what kind of porn your partner likes to watch. From there get creative with what you have. If they’re into schoolgirl, break out a mini skirt and pigtails. Maybe they like domination - a pair of leather gloves or a belt for flogging are perfect. You don’t have to spend lots of money on costumes and accessories and even just calling each other by a different name will be sure to spice things up.
If you’re going out to a Halloween party this year, be intentional about your costume. Don’t just absentmindedly pick the cheapest pre-packaged thing off the rack- have fun putting together your own costume representative of your personal style and current state. Reflect on the year that’s passed. Do you feel strong and badass? Consider something black or latex and a little dominant. Feeling feminine and nurturing this year? Embrace that side of yourself with something light-colored and lacy.
Don’t be afraid to go over the top. This is the one day of the year we can all celebrate being outrageous without fear of judgement. See what happens when you pick out one part of your personality and totally lean into it. This is a chance to learn things about yourself and your desires. Maybe wearing a latex catsuit makes you feel powerfully sexy and you like feeling that way. Let this inspire you to bring this feeling into your everyday life. Try wearing more black and leather to work and experimenting with fetish outfits for the bedroom.
Have fun playing out your fantasies, let the holiday give you the freedom to explore. Happy Halloween!
Quotes by Suzanne LaBarre, From Slutty Halloween Costumes: A Cultural History, Fast Company, 2011